7 posts tagged “me”

As I have mentioned before, I have panic and anxiety attacks that I have to take an SSRI for, otherwise they are unmanageable.  Don't worry I have tried all that cognitive behavior therapy, which consists of changing how you think about them when they are happening so that they don't scare the bejesus out of you.  This works for me if I get them while I am on the medicine, however, when off medicine, all bets are off and I having them constantly and plunging into depression.  It's a very messy picture.

Well lately, the hubby and I have been contemplating babies.  In order to even try that, I have to switch from the SSRI that I am on to another one that is safer for pregnancy b/c my OB/GYN said it would be less safe for my baby if I wasn't getting treated.  So I am in the process of switching, which means I basically stopped taking Pill A and started taking Pill B.  It's been three days and I am dizzy and nauseous, and oh yeah I also have PMS.  This is all BAD...very very BAD.  I think the dizziness is the result of not taking Pill A b/c this is how I felt the last time I had to go off.  However that was followed by panic-attack-o-rama.  I'm hoping that this doesn't happen.

Has anyone else out there ever done this?  DAMN GENETICS!  Thanks alot mom!

I got tagged by Gooseberried to list seven interesting things about myself.  I've been pondering this for two days and I still don't have a good list so I thought I would just sit here and a few things would pop into my mind.

1.)  I love my husband's feet.  I know that sounds weird but I do.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have a foot fetish;  I don't rub on them or anything.  I jus think they are cute, they are hobbit feet.  They are really wide and he has perfectly proportioned toes (chubby), not long gross spindly ones.  It is for this reason that I have been calling him "Baggins" for the last six years.

2.) For my wedding, I didn't have a big wedding cake, I just had a giant chocolate chip cookie cake.  That's how much I love chocolate chip cookies.

3.) I have panic and anxiety attacks.  I hate them.  They suck.

4.) I hate eating or drinking anything out of styrofoam.  I hate the sound of plastic forks scraping the bottom the bottom of styrofoam containers!  It gives me a wiggins.

5.)  I have a bit of a control issue when it comes the my family. That does not include my husband, I'm very trusting of him and generally we are both very independent people.  My parents and my siblings are the ones I want to control, and that's mostly because they do dumb shit and I think it would be so much better if they didn't.

6.)  I have traveled to Mexico, Italy, Spain, Seattle, Arizona, Chicago, St. Louis, Florida, Virginia Beach, Hilton Head, Myrtle Beach, Atlanta, Yellowstone, even though I get homesick and anxious when I travel.  That anxiety disorder is going to keep me down.

7.) I hold grudges. I hold them hard.  If someone screws me or my family and friends over, I will hold that grudge until the day I die.  Just ask several of my sister's ex-BFs. 

I've been trying to do this thing where I act my age and develop a positive outlook on things and try to bring a little joy into my everyday life by adding little things that make me happy into my daily routine.  I know that I never envisioned myself chained to a desk all day but that is where I am at right now so I have to figure ways to bring something extra to the cube to make it my own.  So far I have ALOT of pictures up and a couple times a week, I stop and get a coffee.  I think it's important to try and remember and regularly incorporate those things that bring you joy. 

Here are a few things that bring me joy (besides the most obvious; husband, pets, family, friends):

-decaf mocha lattes with a hint of peppermint

-beaded necklaces

-chocolate chip cookies

-glitter hairspray

-funny socks

-taking pictures

-good music

-an afternoon text to the hubby b/c he can't talk on the phone at work or get email

What brings you joy?

I had a greet weekend.  My four closest friends had planned an overnight girls-only trip for my bday b/c it was the big 30.  They wouldn't tell me where we were going or anything, they just told me it was overnight, bring my camera and wear comfy shoes.

We ended up going to this city that's about an hour away from here and they had lined up a whole day of all the activities that I love.  First we went to this park where I was supposed to take pictures and have lunch.  Trouble was the park wasnn't exactly like the picture so Mara was disappointed that there weren't as many colorful things.  It didn't matter to me though because they had hedges shaped like people and trees we could sit in AND the girls had packed a picnic lunch.  Let me tell you my girl Iris knows how to pack a picnic sandwich, sliced veggies and guacomole.  At one point I did think we were going to get mugged, with all our digital cameras hanging out, but we didn't.

Then we went to this bookstore that had 23 rooms of books!  It was like a book maze.  After that we went to a littler jewelry store and got a great ring.  I'll put a picture up later.  After that we had dinner, played 90s trivial pursuit and that guess-who's-secret-this-is game.  They gave me my gift after that, which was a scrapbook they had made together.  It's so neat, they had some hilarious and totally unflattering pictures in there,  (some good ones too) and they each wrote a letter.  I was really touched by how much thought they put into it.

I was able to get some fall photos too.  I'll post those later.

My weekend was pretty cool.  I went shopping friday night and got some sale items to wear for the bday party I was having on Saturday.  Then on Saturday Jay and I worked all day getting the house ready for the party.  The family part of the party started at 530 with a cookout and then it slowly turned into a late-night party after all the parents/aunts/uncles left and friends came.

I had told Jay before the party that the I was making a mix CD for me and the girls to dance to and even if his friends didn't like it, there would be dancing.  Jay is always down for dancing around the house with me because he's just cool like that, so he didn't care.  Some of his boys however, did spend a good amount of time rolling their eyes and complaining.  I guess they aren't smart enough to reap the benefits of a bunch of cute girls shaking it right in front of them.  Whatever.  It did kind of bring me down a couple of times.  I still had a great time.  My four closest girlfriends were there and I always have such a great time with them.  My sister Angie was also there and my cousin and then a couple of other good friends.

The "Ladies Night" mix included the following songs: You Shook Me All Night Long, Respect, I Will Survive, Living on a Prayer, I Love Rock N Roll, Laid, Goodbye Earl, Boogie Shoes, Build Me Up Buttercup, If I Could Turn Back Time, and others that I can't remember.  We also played some old rap stuff from back when we were in like junior high, Whoomp there it is, humpty dance, criss cross, etc.  It was all pretty funny.

Here's a picture of me and my four favorite ladies:

Five of us

                                                                  Jess, Mara, Me, Iris, Jacqui

Jess is like a little sister to me.  I am so protective of her and she's just the sweetest.  I met her when I was an undergrad, I ran the school's creative arts magazine and she ran the school newspaper.  Our offices were right next to each other.

Mara is other soul mate besides Jay.  She's been my BFF since second grade.  She totally gets me and we are always on the same wavelength.  She's married to Jay's brother and has two beautiful kids.

Iris is one of those people who is always putting others before herself.  She's inspiring.  I met her in grad school.

Jacqui has been my BFF since kindegarten.  She's the first friend I made when I started school.  She's hilarious b/c she's always traveling to her own drummer.  She's also the one who I drag along when I take photos.

I'm lucky to have these ladies.

I am now in my 30s!  Yikes!  Yesterday was my bday and now my 20s are officially over.  It was a good day.  My friends at work decorated my cube all cute and I got some presents at work and double layer cookie cake.  (I LOVE chocolate chip cookies!)

I went to dinner at my sister's for dinner, her BF made me chili.  My Dad snuck into my house while I was at work and hung up a little note for me.  He's been doing that for my sisters and I since we were little.

On Saturday, I am having a party with family and friends.  I am excited to get to hang out with everyone.  I'll post some pictures on Monday.

I know that when I read a blog I like to see a picture of the person who is writing it.  The problem I have with putting my picture up is that I'm always the one taking the photos.  There aren't very many photos of me.  So what should I do?  Take a photo of myself?  Ask someone to take a photo of me?  Those seem a little strange.  Plus I am a little uncomfortable in front of the camera since I am always behind it... 

I'll come up with something.